Midway Reflections

I once read somewhere that there are two kinds of freedom: freedom of thought and freedom of action. I finally fully understand what this means. In Erie, I get freedom of action: I can do as I like, and no one bothers, but I must think as everyone else does. (I find this is the best way to keep the peace when at home.) In Pedro Bay, I must do as everyone else does, but I may think as I choose. I am unsure which I personally prefer. I adore both for very different reasons.

Since arriving in Alaska, I have grown quickly in many ways both personally and professionally. For me, they are directly related. My professional improvements lead to my personal growth and maturation. I am the only Secondary Generalist at Dena’ina School in Pedro Bay, and I am responsible for creating, implementing, and evaluating the entire secondary curriculum. In the core subjects (Reading, Writing, and Math), I teach grades four through twelve. In all the other subjects, I only teach high school. One would think that this immense responsibility would command a certain amount of respect and gratitude amongst the villagers. I find this to be the complete opposite. As time wears on, I still find myself very much misunderstood and an outsider. Some days, I am amused by the situations; other days, I abhor it.

Repeatedly, I am judged on seemingly superficial and unimportant things. The two most irksome are: #1. I do not go to church. I am the public school teacher; in a village of thirty people, I feel it would be professionally irresponsible. An elder actually prayed for my soul during open prayers. A friend told me she literally said, “I would like to pray for Miss Loose’s soul, so that she comes into his light.” I was unsure of how to respond to this, so I just ignored it. #2. I am in Alaska on my own. This seems to bewilder people. For them, it is unfathomable why a young lady would enjoy living in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do, alone. For me, it provides the time and opportunity to explore the depths of my emotions and the range of my capabilities. Everyday I grow physically and emotionally stronger. Since my return to the village from Christmas Break, I have heard the older community members comment [one too many times], “You came back!?!”  Why would I not come back to Alaska? I love everything about my Alaska experience- including my job.

 Professionally, I am doing exceedingly well. I ended the semester with a fantastic formal review from my principal, and a grant for the awesomeness I am doing in my math classroom. Yes, that is right- Miss Language Arts is also a great math teacher! I have a great relationship with my students. I have picked up extra duty contracts for coaching cross-country and basketball. I am also running the district boat shed, which is here in Pedro Bay.

After a long visit with my superintendent, I learned I was picked specifically for Pedro Bay. The students here have NEVER had a secondary teacher with a background in Language Arts, and their writing reflects this. Their writing has improved DRASTICALLY since my arrival. Typically, the Dena’ina School Secondary Generalist position is filled by a male with a math/science background. Also, it has been 10+ years since there has been a female secondary teacher. Ty (my superintendent) thought I would be an amazing educational opportunity for these kids. I wish someone would tell their parents this…

My social life in the village is almost nonexistent. This is both by choice, and by matter of necessity. There is no real break from the watchful eye of the village. I obtain instant gratification through my professional labors. I find the best companionship with my books, and my thoughts. I find comfort and solace in the beauty of the landscape. I am ALWAYS the village secondary teacher, and my every move is carefully scrutinized.